Guess Who's coming to dinner?

So super snob Susan Carter decided to celebrate her wedding anniversary by holding an intimate family dinner (including Chris' new girlfriend the uber-riche Neesha).

Chris had spilt the beans about the Horobin family secrets - armed robbery, arson, the whole deal. Emma had very sensibly made her excuses or else she would have probably brained the little upper class bitch for her comments about single-motherhood. Chris had dumped her by the time he dropped her off at Borchester Towers - or he should have done.

Tony & Pat discussed Tom's plans to set up home with Brenda - although adventurous Tony couldn't imagine why anyone would ever want to leave home - or shell out to buy the kind of house that Tom and his sausage empire aspires to.

Tom & Brenda are to find a shack together

So Brenda had thought she was getting a special evening to celebrate Tom's birthday. Hellen arranges for everyone to be out so that the two can be alone. Tony has other ideas and returns from the Bull at 7.30 pm to truly cramp their style.
Meanwhile over at Brookfield Brian is bending David's ear about how much he misses Rory and wants to be with Siobahn as a full time lover. He keeps being asked how he feels about deceiving Jennifer, but Brian contends that he got away without Jennifer finding out for ages 'and what she doesn't know about won't hurt her'. David goes ballastic as Ruth overhears him condemning Brian's infidelity.
Back at Tom & Brenda they decide to buy somewhere to live in so that they can be together forever.

Happy Families in Ambridge?

Well in the case of Brian and ex-love interest Siobahn it isn't exactly Ambridge - but how ex is the mother of Brian's lovechild Rory.

Brian is definitely 'playing away' now - he's pretending to Debbie that he's in Belgium when in fact he's in Germany, with sickly Siobahn. What is the matter with her? Is it just the flu? Is it something much more serious perhaps.

Back in lambing shed, Ruth and David are making up to such an extent that I was glad I hadn't begun my supper. If Emma hadn't burst in at a critical moment we might have had to suffer listening to full sex at 7.12 p.m. Emma has, of course, fallen into the servant role, and Ruth is the mistress of Brookfield in a new capacity after her liaison with Sam - and was that really unconsummated we wonder.

22nd February Episode

So Lillian (pictured here) is finding the lenten bet to give up alcohol to be very hard. But we listeners love it when when Lillian is at the centre of an episode. Today she takes Peggy on a tour of the day centres for senile Jack. Whilst having some coffee in town they bump into Tom after his driving re-education course. He was of course taking the rap for sister Helen and has to feel the condemnation of Peggy - but not Lillian, who is always forgiving of people's indescretions.

Over at Lower Loxley Nigel has gone totally bonkers - much to the annoyance of Elizabeth (but we quite like it when she's irritated) and is repairing his bike in the kitchen, going to buy a four seater bike for the whole family and is going to excavate the ha-ha filled in in the early twentieth century!

Ash Wednesday

This is the new actress playing Helen Archer who features greatly in tonight's episode as she unburdens herself to Ian the chef after an esoteric discussion about blue cheese. Why is there an obsession with cheese in the Archers?
Eddie is regretting his decision to give up booze for Lent - but can he really kid us that he didn't know that Lent goes on for 40 days (and nights)? After all, as I've said before this is a village with its' entire life centred on the Church.
Meanwhile Debbie has returned (following her triumph in the Olivier awards - in another existence of course) - merely to provide a backdrop to Brian's obsession with being re-united with his lovechild Rory. Of course we had to put up with highly technical discussions about milking parlours and the state of farming in Hungary. There's gonna be trouble there - Brian is desperately trying to give Debbie the slip to achieve his aims (and lusts).

Pankcake Day in Ambridge

One of the strange features of Ambridge is their ability to arrange events that everyone can attend at times when most 'townies' would be making their way home from work - but perhaps this is reality in rural areas.

Sid arranged a pancake race in co-operation with Shula to raise money for the cricket club - but instead of frying pans cricket bats were used. At the end of the evening everyone signed a bat to be presented to senile Jack at the annual dinner.

Ruth and David were preparing to get all loved up in the lambing sheds after a 'family outing' to the pancake event. Pass me the sick bucket. How both of them are going to be in the sheds whilst their young children are left on their own hasn't been explained.

Meanwhile, back at the Bull Vicar Alan is being thanked for providing Day Centre information to relieve Peggy, and then goes on to do a bit of PR for the CofE's lenten appeal. Lillian & Eddie enter into a agreement to give up alcohol for the duration, whilst Fallon is giving up chocolate.

Sid has something on his mind - but it isn't clear what exactly.

Is the Chuch really the centre of rural communities? Please tell me someone?

Monday Night 19/2

So this was the episode for the snobs or potential snobs. Kathy was trying to persuade Elizabeth (snob numero uno) to re-vamp the shop at Lower Loxley. Elizabeth (ex Archer) was more bothered about Nigel who was cycling back having flogged off his car for megabucks in a fit of

green guilt.

Meanwhile Christopher Carter had returned from the civilisation of the ski slopes to ram etiquette and upper class snobbery down the throats of the unreconstructed Carter family. Ex jailbird Susan loves it and wants to invite the girlfriend from hell to a light supper. I'd recommend selling tickets! Christopher is moving to Notting Hill in the near future.

Tasmin Greig a Winner

Tasmin Greig (who plays Debbie Aldridge) has won an Olivier Award for best actress. She was presented with this top award for her role as Beatrice in the RSC production of Much Ado About Nothing. No wonder Debbie is in Hungary so much!

Listening Figures - On the Decline?

Radio 4's Feedback programme has been discussing why the listening figures for 'The Archers has taken a very sharp decline in the past few months.

Some listeners are convinced that the constant campaigning issues are the cause. All the chat about gay weddings, senility, gambling addictions, organic farming, multi-racial relationships and liberal religious issues obviously annoys a great number of people. Others have been alienated by the heavy Ruth/Sam/David storyline.

I just think what must be a big turn off for many people is the constant sentimentality and for me the class ridden snobbery of much of the Archers clan.

What we need are some villains to hiss and boo - some anger and fights. What could beat the Will/Ed scraps?

On the other hand the numbers of 'listen again' listeners has doubled over the same period - so perhaps the producers are doing something right?

18th February Episode

So are we going to see a reconciliation of Ruth & David? Tonight's episode ended with the two of them curled up in front of the TV (I wonder if they'll be watching Waking the Dead or Lewis?) followed by 'an early night' - please I was trying to consume a light supper!

Earlier the happy David & Ruth family had zipped around the fair - on rollercoasters and Mad Hatter's Party Teacups. Oh what happy bonding - no wonder families in Ambridge are far more stable than elsewhere in the UK!

Elsewhere ace snob Jennifer Aldridge (who clearly forgets she was born & brought up in a pub with a drunkard for a father) was slagging off Christopher Carter for going out with the niece of the Lord Lieutenant of the County. She needs a good slapping. Little does she realise that hubby Brian is scheming to start playing away again.

Friday 16th February

Oddly I listened to this episode on Saturday afternoon - on-line via the listen again facility. This is one of the problems about the Friday episode - there is no 'repeat' as such - it just forms the last 12 minutes of the omnibus edition - which I NEVER listen to because it conflists with the Parkinson Show on Radio 2 (currently very expertly hosted by Clive Anderson).

I digress. Can I just say that Adam Archer-Travers-Macy-Aldridge may be gay in the sense that he's just entered into a civil partnership, but he certainly ain't gay in the old happy sense. My word does he whinge. After all the exciting times he'd had with Ian in Africa one might have thought he'd return mellower and wiser. BUT NO! Tonight he was banging on again about Brian never understanding him and totally ignoring his plans for the future. As the appalling Jennifer remarked Brian has no secrets or hidden plans for the farm. (Oh yeah once he claps eyes on Rory the farm will be in trust for his heir sooner than you can say Bernard Matthews Flu Ridden Turkey Twistlers).

Meanwhile the cricket season has kicked off (ha ha - how come no one in Ambridge ever goes to a football match, no one plays, the Bull hasn't got a Sunday League team, no one even supports a team or talks about it in the pub - bizarre). A strange tribunal of Alastair, Eddie and Bert are writing the testimonial for Jack's Memorial Pavilion - not that he's dead yet - although he might as well be!

I also have to agree with the Radio review in this week's 'New Statesman'. It isn't surprising that the numbers of listeners to the programme are declining. We need to hear more from the evil characters - Lillian & Matt, Brian (in philandering mode) and always Linda Snell.

15th February

So Sid Perks turned up to tell Peggy about the re-naming of the Cricket pitch after Jack Woolley - and the plan to give him honorary life membership. As Peggy remarked if they surprise him with the presentation it could either way: give him a turn or be welcomed with joy. If they tell him in advance he'll forget about it by the time the event happens!
Nigel has gone totally green following the news of the death of his beech trees. He was wittering on about the fact that all Underwood's shirts were made in China or Malaysia. Most listeners will be surprised that Underwoods is still trading - most local general stores were gobbled up by some multi-national chain during the Thatcher years. So he's now giving up his car - much to the chagrin of Lizzie (who like most Archers has risen three social classes in the last decade).
Caroline has got some thinking to do about global warming and what she and Oliver can do to help. He on the other hand has got his head in a vat of cheese!

Valentine's Day Edition

I suppose we should all expect Ambridge to mark these 'send card and flowers' occasions - every birthday, even in the Church calendar is marked by appropriate celebrations.

So - on Valentine's Day in Ambridge we get a kind of reconciliation between Ruth and David (which almost sent to towards the sick bucket). However, inevitably it took place over the classic Massey Ferguson (the Fergie) tractor, not over a candlelit dinner. 'Oh David, it isn't just about the kids, its' about us. I miss you ......' 'Do you want me to show you how the differential adjustment works again?' replies David.

Meanwhile the terrible deathly duo - Shula (and EXCUSE ME but who lands their child with an appalling name like SHULA?) and boring Alastair skip an intimate dinner in favour of sticking their arms all the way up some ailing beasts behind.

A typical day in Ambridge then!

Emma is beginning to find working at Brookfield to be a pain in the neck - Ruth's lack of child control is wearing single parent dual lover Mrs Carter to a frazzle.

13th February Episode

Sid Perks made a re-appearance. He was planning an 'event' for Shrove Tuesday, but the immensely irritating Shula has highjacked the occasion to raise money for the cricket team. I wonder that her husband - the equally terrible Alastair (who can bore for England) doesn't examine her motives - because her previous husband Mark was the leading light in the cricket team. Meanwhile Mike Tucker suggests that the cricket pavilion is re-named in Jack Woolley's honour (as he donated the land on which the cricket pitch now stands).

Nigel is quoting Ovid in his Beech Wood - why because all the beeches will die as a result of global warming. Suddenly the fate of the world comes to Ambridge 'What inheritance will our children and their children have?'

Brian's back is going to be an excuse for him not to go away with Jennifer - perhaps he has in mind to go see his love child?

12th February Episode

So we now move on to the Carter family. Son Christopher is having a fling with some horsey type but ex-jailbird Susan (doting mother) believes that the is her entrance into Society in Borsetshire. She must want her brain testing. Daughter Emma has started her job as dogsbody for Ruth (housekeeper as Susan terms it). She's going to find those out of control children too much. Of course Ruth thinks Emma's improved relationship with cuckolded Will is some kind of prototype for her attempts to restore her marriage. Some hopes! Usha is naturally putting a rosey tinge on their doomed life together. David has more feelings for his new tractor than Ruth.

11th February 1007

Sunday night episodes are always a bit strange - and it wasn't helped that I was listening whilst driving to Hackney.
Jack's problems continue - but amazingly the Vicar re-appeared (as though he'd never been gone) to intervene for Peggy. Why don't we organise some support? he suggests. As if that's going to happen! Jack'll end up drowned in the duck pond if someone doesn't keep a better eye on him. The appalling Alice is to blame (of course) for failing to 'babysit' Jack properly.

Ambridge on a Saturday

There isn't an episode of The Archers on a Saturday. In fact Saturday events are rarely reported. Sunday is different of course - strangely the life of the village is centred on Church attendance (not that we've heard from the Vicar in ages) - even Usha (who was a Hindu when I last checked) spends inordinate amounts of time on Church business.
How true is this of life in an average Midlands village?
I'm just waiting to see whether Brookfield and Home Farm are covered in snow.
Will Adam be sent through the drifts to the lambing sheds?

Friday Episodes

I've been listening to The Archers since the late 1950s. In the early days Friday nights always gave you a big finish - because it was the end of the Omnibus edition and so they wanted a hook to keep people on the go. Now there is a Sunday evening programme and the surprises often come then. So tonight not much happened - the appalling Alice continues to wheedle money out of her parents (how spoilt is she?), there are worries about senile Jack and Usha provides (yet again) a shoulder for Ruth to cry on - there's going to be trouble there. David never seems to set foot in Brookfield any longer.

Episode 8th February

Am I alone in getting very bored by the faux riche Aldridges?
Maybe not so faux - but oh so aspiringly middle class - or upper class.
The debates over the gap year for Alice continue. Brian's back pain is becoming an excuse for punishing Adam's time away from the farm for his 'honeymoon' with Ian.
Alice proves Brian wrong about having no money to tour the most dangerous parts of Southern Africa by seeing Caroline for a waitressing job at Grey Gables.
Meanwhile Oliver is banging on about cheese manufacture (just to remind us this is a COUNTRY programme!) and lots of propaganda about different kinds of food (Organic = good; pesticides = bad). Helen is having a period of recovery.

Dum de dum de dum de dum

I'm going to start a daily post - a commentary on 'The Archers' and all the goings on in Ambridge.

Current storylines are: David & Ruth avoiding the truth about their declining marriage.
The social climbing Carters.
Hayley's infertility.
The Aldridges family peculiarities.
Jack's increasing senility.